Subject: Questions From Pervert Pat
Questioner Note:
These questions are a little outside of the box, while still giving you yet another opportunity in the mainstream media to assert your radical, yet well-meaning- although slightly-antiquated and occasionally inflammatory–religious beliefs.
1. Your current bread-and-butter is to target celebrities you feel are glorified by the public for celebrating evil lifestyles, for example: Lady GaGa–who may or may not be bisexual and forces people to dance in a suggestive manner, and the late Heath Ledger–who was in a movie about gay pirates or something. Besides them, who are the five worst people in America, and why?
I get that you’re being somewhat tongue-in-cheek. That said, two points: (1) There’s no question Gaga will screw anything with two legs. She’s loud & proud of her filthy manner of life; just ask Barbara Walters, her whorish mother-in-spirit and fellow teacher of rebellion. (2) Neither Gaga nor any other human can force you to do anything you don’t want to. The truth is that you love the lies and whoredoms taught by every societal leader in this generation (and PS: that’s why your destruction is on you! “The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and my people love to have it so: and what will ye do in the end thereof?” Jer. 5:31).
On to the list! (Note: There’s plenty of overlap, because I’m kind of cheating on the whole “five” aspect of this question).
(1) Antichrist Barak Obama (also include here every American political & military leader): Obama is the Antichrist, leading this nation and earth to final destruction. At every opportunity, He blasphemes God (e.g. calling the righteous judgment of God on the idolatrous Haitian people “cruel and incomprehensible”), lies about His Word (e.g. implying that the Sermon on the Mount justifies abominable same-sex civil unions), and encourages disobedience to the standards of God (e.g. saying he would murder his grandchild if one of his daughters “made a mistake”). He’s on a quest for world power, which he’ll get and then use to continue his campaign against the God of Eternity, until that God consumes this generation of rebels (“But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.” 2 Pet. 3:7). See www.BeastObama.com.
(2) Joel Osteen (also include here every American religious leader): Osteen is typical of every lying preacher in this cursed nation: blind, ignorant and greedy. God’s prophets are called “watchmen,” because they’re supposed to warn of the inevitable judgments of God on those who rebel against Him. Instead of that, America has this: “His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark…Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough…they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.” Isa. 56:10-11. You love their lies and they love your money, so you pay these stupid dogs and follow them all the way to Hell…and they happily lead the way.
(3) John Mayer (also include here every American entertainer – I’d like to explicitly include Beyonce and Taylor Swift): Mayer is the perfect face of the American entertainment industry and young people in general. Though he’d like to be esoteric, he can be easily describe in one word: “worthless.” His days are wholly consumed with “the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1 Jo 2:16), because he is taught (and, in turn, teaches) that the life of every person must revolve around his or her next hook-up. No thoughts of God, no care for your eternal soul, just never-ending self-worship focused on fulfilling any and every lustful, hateful, rebellious thought that enters your head. Read Jer. 13:1-11 for more clarity on the “worthless” concept; you’ll find it there as “profitable for nothing” and “good for nothing.” Fits this generation about perfectly, huh?
(4) Ellen DeGeneres (also include here every American involved in any aspect of pushing fags and same-sex marriage): “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” Mt. 19:4-5. In other words, “Can’t you read?! ‘Male and female’ is God’s standard for marriage.” In defiance of that standard, Ellen calls herself “married” to another woman. That activity (same-sex marriage) became widespread in the antediluvian world, and that was the final straw that brought on Noah’s Flood, destroying all but eight of the billions of the inhabitants of this world. How could you NOT include this proud pimp of perversion – and all who follow her example – in the top 5?
(5) Oprah (also include here every American with wealth and/or influence in the media): I don’t know if it’s possible to be more vain, empty, foolish, and brutish than Oprah. Dubbed “the most influential woman in the world,” she has the blood of millions on her hands. God will require that blood of her (yeah, that’s right; Oprah’s going to Hell!), because she refuses to use the platform God gave her to warn the wicked of the consequences of their filthy manner of life (Eze. 33:8-9). Instead, she uses her award-winning show to discuss such edifying topics as teen sexuality – complete with explicit instructions for various and sundry sex acts. What the hell is wrong with this hateful witch? Strong delusions given to her by God to repay her hatred and her totally unmerited pride and rebellion against Him – THAT’S what’s wrong with her.
2. It’s apparent to me that using intentionally provocative picket signs such as God Hates Fags at funerals are just to get attention, so you can lure the viewer in to learn about your other causes, such as Jews Killed Jesus, You’re Going to Eat Your Babies, and Lady GaGa being partly to blame for 9/11. Is it possible that with your focus on creating negative press (there’s no such thing as bad publicity) to feed off of, and your preoccupation with anal sex, you are diverting your time, money, and resources away from more important problems, such as genocide in Darfur, starvation in south Asia, and Hollywood’s continuing trend of lackluster remakes of classic horror movies like the upcoming A Nightmare on Elm Street?
Our focus is on publishing the truth of God to this hateful generation. Our focus is on connecting the dots for you in such a way that you cannot ignore it. Let’s call the dots that we’re connecting “Point A” and “Point B.” Point A is your disobedient manner of life (proud fags, filthy fornicators, endless avarice and most importantly, your lies about God’s word, etc., ad nauseam). Point B is your GodSmacks (your dead soldiers, your plane crashes, your city-destroying tornadoes, your raping priests, your destructive earthquakes, etc., ad nauseam). Connect those dots (use Eph. 5:3-6; it describes your crimes against God and then says, “Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.”), and what you see clearly is that you wouldn’t even have such situations as the atrocities in Darfur if you would just freakin’ obey God. So, if you truly cared about the rebels in Darfur and Haiti, you’d get to it!
3. You and your cousin claim not to be interested in dating boys, partially because of the impending apocalypse. If President Obama turns out to not be the Antichrist by the end of his administration and the rapture/revelation is therefore canceled or pushed back, would you then consider seeking a romantic relationship, if only just to procreate to continue your bloodline and repopulate the church? Describe what qualities you would look for in your ideal man.
Let me define “total waste of time, effort, resources and brain power” for you: looking for anyone in the male population of this generation of (proud, base, self-obsessed, head-in-the-gutter, incapable-of-getting-his-undeserved-ego-into-anything-smaller-than-a-professional-football-stadium) God-haters who has [A] a clue about the standards of God, let alone [B] any interest in obeying those standards. When there’s no one who even meets the minimum requirements, it seems downright stupid to daydream about other qualities that would make someone “ideal,” don’t you think? Here’s what I do know: if any of us are supposed to be married, it will be totally apparent and the decision will be easy – just like every other aspect of our lives, which are blessedly simple because our God has put it in our hearts to obey Him.
4. I read somewhere that you like the band Panic! at the Disco, who I think are kind of lame, except that one of their songs is named after the Chuck Palahniuk book Invisible Monsters (which you should read, especially considering that Brad Pitt’s character in Fight Club wants to destroy capitalism and reboot society as a whole, which I’m sure you can get behind). What are your top-10 albums of all time, secular, gospel, or otherwise?
How about top five? Listing ten diminishes the honor (see recent Oscar nominations).
(1) Voice of Melody in Zion, hymns sung by WBC. These are hymns that convey accurate notions of the God of eternity; they’re hugely comforting, calming, and happy-making. God has given some beautiful voices to people in this little church, and we use them to sing praise to Him. Yay!
(2) Narrow Stairs by Death Cab for Cutie. In addition to the awesome melodies, you just gotta get behind lyrics that speak of “an alarm of impending doom/to warn us it’s only a matter of time/before [you] all burn.” The idea that this earth will soon be destroyed by fire (as promised in 2 Pet. 3:7, quoted earlier) permeates the collective conscience of the people of this earth (and therefore pop culture: movies, music, books, etc.), though they mock us endlessly for believing that promise from God.
(3) A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out by Panic! at the Disco. Again with the lyrics – the ones that show the true face of this generation (lying, cheating, selfish, arrogant) behind a façade of poise, dignity and love (gag!).
(4) American Idiot by Green Day. Good music, but this is ironic, of course. Billie Joe Armstrong has made a career of out “rebelling against the system” – whatev. He helped set up and still maintains the system! America is full of idiots who think their rage, lust, and determination can change the word of God. That God promised to curse you by dragging you into a war you can’t win in order to punish you for your rebellion against Him. Like every other rebel, foolish Billie thinks he can keep the one (his rebellion) without having the other (this unwinnable war that’s killing your favorite idol, the soldiers). Billie Joe Armstrong is the American Idiot.
(5) Sam’s Town by The Killers. I just like it. That’s all. 😉
5. I watched your appearance on Tyra, who recently announced that she is canceling her talk show. Personally, I am glad because I find her a little too self-righteous. It’s supposed to be informative and empowering for young women, but is actually just more superficial tripe concerning hair, clothing, and make-up. You mentioned on the show that you enjoy running. Please reveal the steps in the Westboro Baptist Workout regimen you employ to keep your lovely figure?
WBC doesn’t have a workout regimen; each person just knows that we daily engage in activities that are physically demanding: picketing with several signs (often for hours), driving/flying across the country, working long days so that we’re able to take the time to do all that, etc. I deleted the last five words of your question, because the “workout regimen we employ” is for the purpose of physically preparing ourselves to do this job, so that we have the strength to do it right, and so we’re not carrying around a bunch of unnecessary baggage (literally) that makes us less effective. Everyone does whatever they prefer. I happen to prefer yoga, biking, weighted jump roping, lifting weights and volleyball B). Others prefer elliptical machines (which I happen to despise). Plus, remember that my madre first perfected the art of holding four signs, which many of us do now and it is no mean physical feat: it requires practice and lots of strength in your arms, shoulders and fingers, and is an excellent workout. Go, Mom! www.twitpic.com/xocfc
6. Countless religions and their denominations–including yours–translate the confusing and overly wordy bible in myriad ways, twisting or omitting the words in attempt to defend or prove their ideals, and everyone thinks their interpretation is definitely right. Meanwhile, the book itself was written by like forty random guys, then a group of people voted on which parts should stay in; a lot of it is stolen from prior religions and the rest is historically inaccurate fables about giant boats, Samson’s mullet of power, and sandal-wearing hookers. The assumption that it is the verbatim dictated word of God is laughable at best, and to follow it as literal law is to waste one’s life. Has it ever occurred to you that your Debbie Downer of a faith is completely wrong, and you could instead be out there eating ice cream and reading Stephen King all day, like me?
Are you kidding? I’m an ice cream lover from way back, and eat it incessantly! :D
The fact is that we couldn’t be further from Debbie Downer if we tried. We love these words, and are so thankful to our God for the ministry He’s given us. You’re Debbie Downer because you know you’re doing wrong, you hate God’s standards for putting the face to your rebellion, you hate us for reminding you that there are consequences for that rebellion, and you hate that the curses of God are pouring out on you for it.
The truth and accuracy of the Bible is manifest. Every day, you see the evidence of it, showing that the promises of God are good. As just one example, look at our little church. It’s the “most hated” in America, and by any analysis, there is no rational, logical reason this church hasn’t been completely destroyed by now; it’s certainly not still standing because of any restraint on the part of the people of this nation. Our church has had each branch of government try to take it down: Congress and the legislatures of 43 of 50 states passing laws against us; the corrupt American judiciary prosecuting us for activities covered by the First Amendment and entertaining a meritless lawsuit against us that resulted in an $11 million verdict against us; police across the country violating their oaths and misapplying the law to try to stop us from publishing these words of God, etc.. Our church has been bombed with an IED, set on fire, and is otherwise continually threatened and vandalized. The only reason we’re still here is because it’s the work of our God, who promised to keep His people and bless them. Likewise, God’s promise to curse those who rebel against Him is shown forth every day (hello! Have you been reading the GodSmacks that get posted on Twitter?!). If God would open your eyes, you’d see this as plain as day. You’ve got two options: either mourn for your sins, and pray to God for repentance and forgiveness, or continue on in your sin, daily rebelling against Him, and keep heading down the path to Hell, where they’re “tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night…” Rev. 14:10-11.