See WBC’s video production, here: http://bit.ly/1jW3WJp
Now that you have all moved on with your faux giving of thanks to a God you don’t worship, won’t obey, and don’t really believe in, hear some true thankfulness – Thank God for the Internet. What a marvelous tool He has had made for us to preach to you and to understand the events of the world we live in today, so that every human in every nook and cranny of the earth will hear these words and see our signs before they are called to judgment! Amen and amen!
Our first bit of goodness for you today comes to us from the prophet Amos — “Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?” (Amos 3:6).
This is a rhetorical question posed by the prophet, with the obvious answer being “of course not”! You hear the warning trumpet and you are immediately made afraid – that’s the point of the trumpet being blown! And of course the God who created all things has predestinated all things that occur. We’ve told you this many, many, many times, but God keeps giving us reason to repeat it. So repeat it we shall.
Let’s put this in a modern up to the minute context – “Shall a helicopter fall out of the sky, land on The Clutha pub full of drunk Glaswegians, and the Lord didn’t do it”? Again, rhetorical question. Of course He did.
While the Scottish authorities are being very careful not to prematurely declare what caused the helicopter to fall out of the sky, without seeing one shred of the physical evidence, knowing any toxicology reports for the pilot, without reviewing any of the wind data for that area of Glasgow at the time of the crash or pouring over the hundreds of pages of recent maintenance data, I can confidently tell you why the helicopter fell on the pub. Are you ready for this? God swatted it out of the sky.
You’d think that this would be painfully obvious to all of you by now, given the number of times a week you get your collective asses handed to you. God is smacking you all on a regular basis!
The response is typical and predictable. Instead of getting on your knees in humility, first you pound each other on the back congratulating each other on how well you responded to the event, as though displaying some basic level of human decency and helping a person whose head was crushed by a roof timber makes you deserving of some sort of medal. Then you begin in with how much you’re all praying for these people.
Wait. What? Praying for them? Who are you praying too exactly? If the god (with a little ‘g’) you worship wasn’t powerful enough to stop the helicopter from falling on the pub, what’s he/she/it going to do now? Hand out some band-aids and aspirin? Maybe a spot of tea? Really, Queen Elizabeth, what are your “thoughts and prayers” going to do? Or Right Reverend Lorna Hood, moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland (side note – what in the name of God is a moderator of a church? Seriously? Could you people at least offer up some truth in advertising and not call yourself a church? There are no moderators in the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ!!!); Lorna, what are you praying to exactly? Your tea pot? These thoughts and prayers are powerless. Give it a rest already!
Then of course, you progress to the candle light vigils, and one of my all-time favorites, the moment of silence. Right on cue, the soccer match between Rangers and Falkirk kicked off the whole minute of silence cavalcade. Seriously. Somehow 60 seconds of your clap-trap shutting down is going to make some difference now? Perhaps if you’d shut your mouths, stopped trying to think great thoughts, and just read the words BEFORE the helicopter was swatted out of the sky like a gnat, your 8 dead would still be alive. Your 14 critically wounded wouldn’t be in pain. Seeing as how your prayers aren’t doing any good, I suggest you reverse course, and have 60 seconds of blathering at the next major event, and spend the rest of the time in silence. At least then it wouldn’t be so obvious what Godless heathens you are.
Next comes the hand-wringing ‘why’ phase. In every pulpit on Sunday some pompous blow-hard preacher (or in Lorna’s case a moderator – still trying to figure out what in the name of all that is good and holy she’s moderating); they will stand up and pontificate out of their nether regions about how God didn’t do this thing, it was Satan, chance, Mother Nature, the Great Spaghetti Monster in the Sky, the shooter on the grassy knoll, the Easter Bunny, rock and roll music, Sasquatch, aliens, the Underpants Gnomes executing step 2 in their plan, or some other equally ridiculous nonsense. As a service to all of you who wander hopelessly without knowledge, let us make this simple for you. God did it. He did it because He wanted to, and you deserve it. You deserve it because you allowed the so-called Church of Scotland to start ordaining fag preachers; you deserve it due to your refusal to stand up and contest fag marriage becoming the law in your nation; you deserve it for not crying out when the United Kingdom banned members of WBC from coming to preach to you in person; you deserve it because you deserve punishment for your sins, as all mankind does. Get over it. God is just, even if you can’t see it.
Now, I would be remiss if I did not also make note of tomorrow’s great farce known as World AIDS Day. The 2013 theme is “Shared Responsibility: Strengthening Results for an AIDS-Free Generation”.
So let me get this straight. According to the CDC, 63% of all new AIDS cases are fags. That’s right, straight from the CDC, so you know that’s probably a low number. Despite all the posters with kids on them begging you to give money to AIDS research, the fag community still owns this disease. But instead of doing the one thing they know they could do to stop this epidemic in its tracks – stop having fag sex – they want everyone to share responsibility for it?
Well, we at WBC will play along. But we aren’t going to be dictated to on what that shared responsibility means. We aren’t going to coddle you and hug you disease-carrying filthy brute beasts (2 Peter 2:12) and tell you it’s going to be all right, we’ll all work together to find you a cure. NO! NO! NO! We’re going to tell you the truth about it, because if we don’t, your HIV-carrying blood is on our shoulders (Ezekiel 33), and we will not shirk that duty, and don’t want any part of your diseased blood.
So here’s the truth. You can talk about all the safe sex practices you want (which is just government sponsored pornography in reality), you can bankrupt this nation with AIDS research, mandate that these filthy creatures be treated for free by doctors and have access to the best health care available (while the rest of the country clicks and waits at healthcare.gov) and demand that we all join the candlelight vigils, but you will never cure this disease. That’s right. NEVER. EVER.
“The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed” (Deut 28:27).
Just like nothing can keep a helicopter in the air that God swats down, you can’t heal a thing God won’t have healed. So happy World AIDS Day. Our responsibility in this matter is fulfilled.
Amen.