Response To “Miserable, Self-Hating Teen”

I don’t care if you respond, which you clearly won’t. All I want you to do is listen & read. I’m a bit to profound for your response & I apologies.I am a 17 year old girl, & with your hatred for gays has spread to me hating my own damned self. I don’t want to be this way, I dread being who I am & it’s because of idiots like you people. God hates no one. I have read through the verses over & over again & no where does it state the hatred. Yes it is a sin, but it does not state that. You aren’t helping anyone, you know what? You say things like this & people kill themselves because of it. I’m terrified of who I am because of what I’ve seen & heard on the news, because what I see when I get on the internet. I’ve tried to commit suicide over 5 times now because I don’t like thinking that God hates me. I was born into a Christan church baptized at birth, I didn’t even know homosexuality existed until the 6th or 7th grade. Both Grandparents very spiritual, & I had to go to church every sunday for both services. Every Christmas, Easter, & so on. I had to go. I helped out, I’ve been an alter guild, acolight, been in chior, completed all Sunday School courses, I’ve done everything right. Now tell me why as a young child I had sexual thoughts of the same sex, I’d wake up crying & scarred. All I want is to be is accepted, & I never have been. I’m not even out. I’m a reject to all & your stupid website & stupid shirts don’t do any good for anyone. You think you’re doing God’s work, well fuck you, you’re just destroying millions of peoples lives & self-esteem. I pray every night, I’ve tried everything to not be what I am. It’s not a choice no matter what you may say, I just know it cuz otherwise I’d be free to at least be a little bit normal. I’m going insane honestly, I would stop walking & just cry & stair in the sky & ask if he really hated me. I got really sick from sitting out in the snow for a half hour because of it all. I have a wonderful boyfriend that I love emotionally but when sexual things come into everything, I feel nothing, I feel grossed out/numb/sick. I’ve been with him for a year & a half. He’s very spiritual as well. He hasn’t lost his virginity, I refuse to take it because of how I felt to lose my innocents & he won’t give it away till marriage. And sad to say I’ve done sexual things with a girl & it felt right. I hate that fact more then anything. I cried to lose my virginity due to depression because the fact that I could like, well love someone of the same sex. Everything leads back to this. I’m braking down now because of much I don’t want
to be this, so tell me that God hates me, tell me that he hates & denies someone who loves & believes in him. I’ve been fighting against this & trying to find ways out since the 9th grade, & the feeling just has grown more. It’s not fair. I just want people to like me & accept me. I don’t want to have to be alone, but I’m miserable with a male, & if I choose a female then I’ll live the rest of my days in hell, my only choice is to be alone. Thank you for making me hate myself, thank you for showing me that I can never be accepted socially, & that life after will be just as sucky as life now because I am a failure in God’s eye’s. Thanks for being total killjoys & taking away a young girls happiness because you can’t stay out of peoples business, you can’t let people make there own choices. Thanks. I hope that there is no heaven, I hope that there is either only hell or nothing because no one is good enough these days to go to heaven, very few actually deserve it in my eye’s. You guys don’t deserve to go to heaven if you really think God hates not just me, but millions of people out there, ‘love your neighbor as yourself,’ famous verse, sound familiar? What’s that mean? It mean’s that no matter the path another person takes you should love & accept them. You guys remind of Peda a bit except I haven’t heard of anyone blowing up any gay bars or anything, same thing though. I don’t hate you, so please don’t hate me. I love you so
please give me that love back in return. I may hope for evil because no matter what it seems, I’m going to hell. I accept that, but before I go there, I just want to be loved while I’m here. If you are really the loving/forgiving/caring individuals you claim to be, then stop & love.Earth should be as close to Heaven as we can make it, & if we  stop with all this hatred & fighting, then we can come as close to heaven as possible. Sure they’re will still be murders, liars, thief’s, & so on, but the world will be a little more peaceful if we can just learn to accept while here. Let me & my fellow gays be happy while we can. For as Devil like as that is, you won’t be charged, it’s not a sin to live & let be. I don’t mean to be so harsh, it’s just how I feel & I’m tired of screaming it at the ceiling & writing it notes. I want a voice now. Again I don’t care if you respond, which you clearly won’t. All I want you to do is listen & read. I’m a bit to profound for your response & I apologies.  Sincerely: A miserable self hating teen. Your truely, Emily.

Miserable, self-hating teen,

That’s a good start, because self-esteem is the *last* thing any
of us need, dear.

You need to stop all the ramblings of your mind & focus on some
clear truths: it’s not about *you* and whether or not you’re accepted by
any human. God demands obedience. *God* will reject you & you *will*
go to hell if you don’t stop your proud sin.

You haven’t tried to commit suicide, anyone that wants to die will do it
quietly. God wrote the His laws on the hearts of humans & it’s your
conscience that testifies against you. You are angrily throwing a fit because you’re
discontented with your lot & refuse to run from those sins that consume
you. You’re mad at the God that created you and caused you to be just what you
are. Dear girl – STOP THAT!

WBC doesn’t hate “gays” – it’s quite the opposite. There is such overwhelming
fag propaganda flowing from every direction. Read the Bible for yourself – the definition
of love is to tell the truth, especially when it’s your soul that hangs in the
balance. Christ Jesus said to love your neighbor (that’s you, Emily) – quoting
Leviticus 19:17&18 – by warning them when the wrath of God is abiding on
them. The wrath of God abides on you, Emily.

Put away your self-pity & self-obsession, keep the self-loathing
& RUN from your sins & the people and/or environment that provokes you
to commit those sins.

Thank you for writing,

One of your true friends at WBC

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